Our Family Court System contributes to the problem of alienation in children

Parental Alienation Course Outline

Topics covered in this course will include:

  • How alienation begins
  • How children’s difficulties with transitions between parents can lead to psychological splitting and alienation
  • How our current system contributes to the problem of alienation in children
  • The signs of alienation and how to spot them
  • The psychological and emotional changes that create pressure on parents and children
  • The history of alienation and how social changes increase the likelihood of it happening to our children
  • High conflict separation and the risk of alienation for children
  • How alienating parents operate
  • How neuroscience is contributing to a deeper understanding of alienation and how to treat it
  • how to keep sane when your child is rejecting you
  • The importance of keeping fit and well
  • When to make strategic retreats
  • How to differentiate between the type of alienation your child is suffering
  • The importance of understanding your own parenting style
  • The impact that family history has upon the alienation
  • How to recognise and reverse an alienation reaction in your child
  • How to manage severe cases

for more information please go to:-https://fnf.org.uk/2-uncategorised/92-coping-with-parental-alienation-2-day-course

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Source: Coping with Parental Alienation – Parental Alienation

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9 thoughts on “Our Family Court System contributes to the problem of alienation in children

  1. My name is Marlena Frayji. I am a mother of three, who lost custody to their abusive father November 12th, 2012. I continue to be abused by the legacy system. My heartbreak began when my ex filed a restraining order an ex parte, just three weeks after being tricked into leaving, and locked out of my home of 24 years. At the hearing, Tony, my ex, was represented, while I was not. With no witnesses, no proof, and no police reports to back up his outright lies, that I was a threat to him and the children, the judge granted his request.

    A violation of that order took place after being tricked into going to the home to get my belongings. This is backed up by numerous emails from him demanding I get my things, and texts of plans made by both of us. there was also leading up to this many texts and emails of correspondence, which arguments occurred.

    At that time, I was arrested for a violation of the restraining order. I was jailed for 7 days, and did not have the money for bail of 750.00, as I was locked out of all bank accounts, and did not then, nor did I ever have access to a credit card. At my arraignment, the D.A. presented an offer that included a ten year R.O. barring me from Tony and my children. I was not made aware that the R.O. would include my children. There was no outline, or description detailing the terms of this portion of the offer. As far as I knew, it was restraining me from my children’s father. Not my children.

    Being isolated in an abusive, controlling 24 year marriage, and involved in a fundamental Christian religion that was strictly adhered to by Tony and thus our family, I had the mind set of a 16 year old. Believing that no one would take children away from a good mother and that I could trust the judicial system to protect me from more abuse. This along with fear of more jail time, I accepted the plea.

    For 4 and a half years, I regularly filed motions for unsupervised time with my children, to no avail. Realizing that as long as the 10 year order was in place, and that it was not going to be lifted with out a very expensive criminal attorney, I have since surrendered to being a mother that lost custody.

    There is no text, no message, no witness, no testimony, no police report, and no proof of any stalking, harassing, abuse, or neglect to Tony or my children. There has been no evidentiary hearing or trial to determine if I am in fact a violent abuser, yet a 10 year C.P.O. labels me as one to everyone. From employers to Judges, I am a violent abuser that is not fit to be employed or raise children.
    Because of the order, what ever the “Victim” wishes, he gets. He wants me prosecuted for a stupid, and as the Judge puts it “diminimus” claim of a violation, them I am prosecuted. If he wants an addendum added to the CPO, because he “feels” threatened, then he gets it. I have been essentially banned from my entire life of very hard wok, and a very good reputation, of 24 years. every person besides my own family, has been somehow added to the order, most with out their knowledge. He was even able to get the Elders of our church, that he no longer communicates with, or attends the church of, added to the order so that I no longer receive any spiritual support from them.

    Since then, I have grown onto a mature woman who has merged into some sort of life as a childless woman. I am allowed no contact what so ever with them until the year 2022. Believing that the CPO was no longer in affect for my now adult daughter, I texted her when she was 18. Of course, it was prosecuted, even though it was agreed that I made a mistake and would not contact her anymore. I had never contacted my children previously. At a hearing to set a trial date, I was arraigned for posting one of my daughters songs from sound cloud, from a different profile than hers. I was in jail 12 days, and unless I plead, I would stay until trial which would be about four months. I lost two clients from my job as personal assistant and my car was repossessed, as they could not reach me. The cost of all of the repercussions of disappearing for 12 days cost me over 4000.00 not including lost wages. This is 41/2 years after separation.

    For 26 years I was essentially held captive by isolation and financial control. I am still isolated from numerous people, including my dear children. I am still affected financially, through child support and the cost of supervised visits. I received zero assets at trial, and I am well below guideline for spousal support. This is due to the 10 year CPO.

    I know that my civil right to Due Process was violated. I know that a restraining order was misused and continues to be misused, and have proof, which justifies the filing of a Torte. The problem is, that since I have been left financially devastated, I have no funds for legel help.

    I believe that the merging of the VAWA reform of 1994, and the funding it provides, along with the attention of The Fathers Rights Movements, is the reason for the sudden rise mothers losing custody today. Most every parent that loses custody long enough for the pendulum to swing so far, for so long, lost due to claims of violence, weather true or not. In order for funding from the VAWA to continue, the numbers of abusers and victims had to stay the same, while less fathers losing custody was necessary to calm the protest the Fathers Rights Movements, who asked for Family Law Reform, not for mothers to suffer the injustice. This meant that just as many had to lose custody due to violence, meaning more mothers became abusers by mere accusation, just as fathers had for years. Most fathers gave up when the culture of family law was automatic custody to mothers if she claimed abuse, even if she lied, as the legal costs to fight, and the barrier of the then family law norm, was just too enormous. On the other hand, mothers who lose custody, do not have history in family law as the great majority ruled unfit, thus, noncustodial parent. The numbers have grown enough now to make some noise and are getting attention from many including Feminists Organizations, which interestingly enough, backed the 1994 reform of the VAWA, partly out of the realization that more fathers would be getting custody, and victims would need more protection. This, along with the fact that no one can argue, a mother and child bond is unbreakable, has lead to family law cases that simply will not go away. Mom’s don’t walk away and move on. Judges have no idea what to do, so that is when gag orders and vexatious Litigant orders come into play. I myself have been ruled a Vexatious Litigant for Ex Parte’s. I know what would come next as long as I am not represented.

    Thank you so very much for everything your organization is doing to put a stop to the worldwide annihilation of the mother/child bond. I will except help in any way possible from resources to media attention. I do not expect miracles, however after five years of court ordered silence through the most excruciating injustice a mother can endure, I yearn to have a voice. To share my story because the tragedy of three precious little girls having their mother ripped from their lives because of an accusation that has no basis for truth and has been denied any form of due process is an inexcusable tragedy in a country that claims to honor the civil rights of human beings. Thank for your time.

    Marlena Frayji
    916-276-2112
    marlenand3@gmail.com
    Criminal case#
    62-111993
    Family law case# SDR-0040167
    Judge Amera
    – [ ]

    Liked by 3 people

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