di·vorce – dəˈvôrs/ noun ~ the legal dissolution of a marriage by a court or other competent body.
verb ~ legally dissolve one’s marriage with (someone).
A divorce can be many things. It is a legal proceeding to end a marriage. Divorce laws differ from state to state regarding the requirements and reasons or grounds for a divorce. The mechanisms and procedures for obtaining a divorce differ from state to state as well. In every state there is a legal requirement that a divorce proceeding be filed to end the legal marriage between a couple.
Consider the recent custody case reported by the New York Post involving Dr. Eric Braverman, a highly committed father and respected neuro-surgeon in Manhattan who spent more than $4.5 million in an unsuccessful attempt to retain a meaningful relationship with his children. A judge-appointed attorney for those same children went to horrendous lengths to pervert this man’s efforts with fees approximating a half million dollars.
Now come on folks, let’s not lose sight of sanity here! How can one lawyer acting on behalf of immature and unsuspecting children be worth so much on a single case? Was this lawyer truly committed to “client” interests or was he seeking to justify his gigantic personal pay-out for a dubious role in a sensitive matter?
Compounding this uncontrolled greed is the lawyer glut entering the market. There are more than 1.25 million licensed attorneys in the United States today with about 300,000 in California alone and at least that many seeking a law school education each year. These people have to work somewhere and the bureaucrats are making room for them in family court. This is where apprentices typically learn their trade and marginal lawyers can concoct litigation to last an entire career.
To give an appearance of ethics, many states impose rules which prohibit lawyers from executing contingent fee arrangements in domestic relations cases. However, exceptions have been crafted which allow them for support collection purposes. This gets very interesting when you look deeper into the deceptions and the greed.
Think of it! A lawyer can now charge thousands of dollars in up front fees and billable hours during protracted litigation and then double dip on the back side by getting a third of the actual support intended for the children. The state typically gets all the interest generated off these awards in addition to a custodial fee and the federal incentive money.
In New York, the tax department is assigned support enforcement authority. In effect the state is intervening with all its machinery on the side of the so-called “custodial parent” while no similar powers are offered to the lower class parent to remedy child access deprivations. It prompted one state Supreme Court justice to question the state’s involvement in a private debt between self sufficient parents.
If you’re a debtor, you could be charged with your lawyer’s fees, the children’s lawyer, opposing fees, the contingency collection fee and court costs such as counseling, supervision and “parent education” as they call it. In countless cases, particularly those involving veterans and minorities, the debtor fathers will never be able to complete their servitude, landing them in debtor prisons. This will only add to our tax burdens and a dubious distinction as the most imprisoned population in the “free” world.
We’ve been doing our best to inform you of these alarming developments because the media is ignoring this crisis. But we cannot continue to do so without your financial support in a war against a trillion dollar industry. Public apathy has allowed this to happen along with the lawyer greed shockingly rationalized to be in our children’s best interests. It is a gold mine of unparalleled proportion that is causing so many of our social ills today.
Under some circumstances use of the low preponderance of evidence standard may be a violation of constitutional rights. For example, if a state seeks to deprive natural parents of custody of their children, requiring only proof by a preponderance of evidence is a violation of the parents’ DUE PROCESS rights (Santosky v. Kramer, 455 U.S. 745, 102 S. Ct. 1388, 71 L. Ed. 2d 599 ).
Freedom in matters of family life is a fundamental liberty interest, and the government cannot take it away with only a modest evidentiary standard.
However, a court may use a preponderance of evidence standard when a mother seeks to establish that a certain man is the father of her child (Rivera v. Minnich, 483 U.S. 574, 107 S. Ct. 3001, 97 L. Ed. 2d 473 ).
Most states use the preponderance of evidence standard in these cases because they have an interest in ensuring that fathers support their children.
NEW STUDY ~ Children fare better when they spend time living with both of their parents.
This Divorce Arrangement Stresses Kids Out Most | TIME
Regarding the well-being of kids with divorced parents, the debate over what kind of custodyarrangement is best rages on. But a new study, published Monday in the Journal of Epidemiology & Community Health,suggests that children fare better when they spend time living with both of their parents.
That goes against some current thinking that kids in shared-custody situations are exposed to more stress due to constantly moving around and the social upheaval that can come along with that. “Child experts and people in general assumed that these children should be more stressed,” says study author Malin Bergström, PhD, researcher at the Centre for Health Equity Studies in Stockholm, Sweden. “But this study opposes a major concern that this should not be good for children.”
The researchers wanted to see if kids who lived part time with both parents were more stressed than those who lived with just one parent. They looked at national data from almost 150,000 12- and 15-year-old students—each in either 6th grade or 9th grade—and studied their psychosomatic health problems, including sleep problems, difficulty concentrating, loss of appetite, headaches, stomachaches and feeling tense, sad or dizzy. They found that 69% of them lived in nuclear families, while 19% spent time living with both parents and about 13% lived with only one parent.
Kids in nuclear families reported the fewest psychosomatic problems, but the more interesting finding was that students who lived with both of their separated parents reported significantly fewer problems than kids who lived with only one parent.
“We think that having everyday contact with both parents seems to be more important, in terms of stress, than living in two different homes,” says Bergström. “It may be difficult to keep up on engaged parenting if you only see your child every second weekend.”
Having two parents also tends to double the number of resources a kid is exposed to, including social circles, family and material goods like money.
“Only having access to half of that may make children more vulnerable or stressed than having it from both parents, even though they don’t live together,” she says.
A false accusation is where an unfounded or unsubstantiated allegation is made against a person. A false allegation can occur as the result of intentional lying on the part of the accuser; or unintentionally or resulting from deliberate or accidental suggestive questioning, or faulty interviewing techniques.
The accusations can be broken down in three categories: -An allegation about alleged events that did not occur; -An allegation that describes events that did occur, but were perpetrated by an individual who is not accused, and in which the accused person is innocent. -An allegation that is partly false but the person’s account of the facts implicated the accused person wrong. -The biggest effect that a false accusation has is on a person’s character whereby the accusations made defame a person’s reputation. False accusations may be made by the police or any other person.
Can I sue for false Accusations? YES
You can sue for false accusations made by a person or the police. The effect of false accusations affects a person’s reputation because they are either falsely accused of a crime or falsely accused of act that did not take place.
Common types of false allegations involves sexual abuse, child abuse, domestic violence claims, or the commission of any crime. A person can sue under the tort of defamation which may either be in the form of slander, libel or defamation of character. Slander is untrue words spoken orally with the purpose of harming an individual reputation. It must be proven that the individual made the statements maliciously to harm the reputation of a person for their own personal reasons. While libel is where statements are printed that falsely depicts individual in a certain way that ruin their reputation. To prove libel it has to be shown that the printed allegations were not only insulting and offensive but it was it malice. Defamation of character concerns the act of making false statements about a person which blemishes or tarnishes his/her reputation. Defamation of character can either be libel or slander.
False accusation is considered to be defamatory per se category where of false statements are so innately harmful. Traditionally, damages for such false statements are presumed and do not have to be proven. This shows the serious damaging effects that false accusations may have on an individual’s reputation. An example of this is where someone accuses you falsely of rape. It is common knowledge that being accused of rape tarnishes a person’s reputation. A person is awarded damages for false accusations when a defamation claim is brought against them.
Can I sue a person for False Accusations? YES
Where someone is falsely accusing you of acts that did not take place or actions which did transpired but you are falsely being accused you can sue them. First it is always best and cheaper to demand the person to cease and desist or to make a public apology. However, because of the nature of the allegations that were made you probably want vindication by the court to state that the person was malicious and vindictive or they did not have probable cause to allege that you did such an act.
Additionally, you may have suffered mental distress as a result of the false statements as such compensation is needed. Compensation is awarded in cases of false accusations to recompense the person for damage to reputation and any anxiety caused by it.
Falsely accusing someone for acts which may or may not be criminal can seriously damage a person’s reputation. Therefore, you can sue anyone who was responsible for making the false accusations. These persons can include police officers where they act without probable cause or anyone acts with malicious intent. The issue of false allegation in the criminal sphere is so serious that proof of loss does not have to be shown by the victim before they can receive damages.
Mom and Dad are divorcing or have been divorced and are now sharing joint custody of their children in the same city in Texas. One parent receives a letter from the other parent’s attorney requesting that this parent be allowed to relocate the children to another state so he/she may take a better job position with another company! This is a dilemma no parent ever wants to experience! Child Custody cases involving interstate relocation jurisdiction issues cause much heartache and are costly legal battles.
What can a Parent do to protect themselves from children being relocated away from the non-moving parent to another state without her/his consent? How may this affect the parent’s relationship with the children?
The Texas Family Code 153.002Best Interestof Child states “The best interest of the childshall always be the primary consideration of the court in determining the primary consideration of the court in determining the issues of conservatorship and possession of and access to the child.”
The Texas Family code does not elaborate on the specific requirement for modification in the residency-restriction context, and there are no specific statutes governing residency restrictions or their removal for purposes of relocation. Texas Courts have no statutory standards to apply to this context.
The Texas Legislature has provided Texas Family Code 153.001, a basic framework on their public policy for all suits affecting the parent-child relationship:
The public policy of this state is to:
Assure the children will have frequent and continuing contact with parents who have shown the ability to act in the best interest of the child;
Provide a safe, stable, and nonviolent environment for the child;
Encourage parents to share in the rights and duties of raising their child after the parents have separated or dissolved their marriage.
How does The State of Texas treat an initial Child Custody determination?
Texas Family Code 152.201 of the UCCJEAstates, among other things, that a court may rule on custody issues if the Child:
*Has continually lived in that state for 6 months or longer and Texas was the home state of the child within six months before the commencement of the legal proceeding.
*Was living in the state before being wrongfully abducted elsewhere by a parent seeking custody in another state. One parent continues to live in Texas.
*Has an established relationship with people (family, relatives or teachers), ties, and attachments in the state
*Has been abandoned in an emergency: or is safe in the current state, but could be in danger of neglect or abuse in the home state
Relocation is a child custody situation which will turn on the individual facts of the specific case, so that each case is tried on its own merits.
Most child custody relocation cases tried in Texas follow a predictable course:
Allowing or not allowing the move.
Order of psychological evaluations or social studies of family members
Modification of custody and adjusting of child’s time spent with parents
Order opposing parties to provide all information on child’s addresses and telephone #
Help to Prevent Your Child’s Relocation in a Texas Court by Preparing Your Case!
Does the intended relocation interfere with the visitation rightsof the non- moving parent?
The effect on visitation and communication with the non-moving parent to maintain a full and continuous relationship with the child
How will this move affect extended family relationships living in the child’s current location?
Are there bad faith motives evident in the relocating parent?
Can the non-moving parent relocate to be close to the child? If not, what type of separation hardship would the child have?
The relocating parent’s desire to accommodate a new job, spouse, or other criteria above the parent-child relationship. A Parent’s personal desire for move rather than need to move?
Is there a significant degree of economic, emotional or education enhancement for the relocating parent and child in this move?
Any violation of an order or prior notice of the intended move or a temporary restraining order
Are Special Needs/ Talents accommodated for the child in this move?
Fear of child and high cost of travel expenses for non-moving parent or child to visit each other to be able to continue parent- child relationship.
What other Paramount Concerns would affect the child concerning the relocation from the non-moving parent?
At the Nacol Law Firm PC, we represent many parents trying to prevent their child from relocating to another city or state and having to experience “A Long Distance Parental Relationship” brought on by a better job or new life experience of the relocating parent! We work at persuading courts to apply the specific, narrow exceptions to these general rules in order to have child custody cases heard in the most convenient forum in which the most qualifying, honest evidence is available; cases where the child’s home state or other basic questions are clarified, and cases where a parent has the right in close proximity with their child regardless of other less important factors.
in Entry #5, we talked about the Tipping Point and how the most powerful thing that we can all do to stamp out family legal abuse, even if you’re where I was a year ago, homeless and living with your kids in a car, is to spread, spread, spread the word and organize, organize, organize.
However, in the past, you may have been trying to have an intelligent conversation with someone about family rights when they say something truly asinine, such as:
“Well, someone has to pay for all those deadbeats.”
Say, what? What does something that happened in someone else’s family situation, in someone else’s life, have to do with me? Even if there are millions of authentic deadbeats out there (and, there’s not, but even if there were), that’s not a justification to indenture me and kidnap my children.
If you try to ask what “all those deadbeats” have to do with you and your children, the ignoramus will probably spout some pseudo-intellectual claptrap, replete with circumlocution, about how the status quo (i.e. family legal abuse) somehow works out to the betterment of society in the big scheme.
This is just one of the many ignorant things that you probably have encountered while trying to get through to people. Well, for all their pseudo-intellectual attempts at philosophical fencing, there are two things you have going for you that cannot be overcome with fancy words and a smug attitude, two things that absolutely grind any opposition to a halt. These two things simply cannot be argued with. They can, of course, be denied, but that’s different. They cannot be argued with.
One of these things was covered in Entries #3 and #4, Our Rights as Parents (Parts I and II). Our rights, of course, can not be debated. They are self-evident. Check out Entries #3 and #4 if you haven’t already.
What’s your testimony? It’s what you and your children have lived. It can’t be debated. YouLIVED it! It can be denied. You can be called a liar, but you can’t be debated. You LIVEDit!
So, when I tell people about living in a car, homeless, as a single parent family of four, in spite of having a full-time job because so-called “child support” did not leave us with enough money to pay rent. When I talk about crying as a grown man while I put my children’s beloved toys in a dumpster as we downsized our worldly belongings so that we could fit them into a car instead of an apartment, that’s my family’s testimony. We lived it.
When I talk about sitting on my then-5-year-old’s bed at 3:30am watching him try to sleep as he practically coughed up a lung, knowing that so-called “child support” had made my bank account negative so that I couldn’t even go to the store to get him cough syrup, it’s my testimony. All I could do was wonder if he was really serious enough to take to an emergency room, knowing that if I did, that would cause ANOTHER financial crisis.
No one can debate these things. They are testimony. They were lived, and that’s powerful!
I have even given my testimony to so-called “child support” workers over the phone when I have had occasion to have to communicate with them. Once, one of them even said she was “sorry my family had to go through that”. Yes! It really happened ladies and gentlemen. The lady actually said she was sorry. (But, I hope, since all those phone calls are recorded by her Orwellian masters, I hope she didn’t get in trouble for expressing some humanity.)
No one can argue with your testimony.
I know other people’s testimonies that include:
Being sent to prison simply for having Parkinson’s disease. (This man used to make six-figures, but his disease advanced until he was 100% disabled and unable to work. His case’s judge refused to lower the victim’s so-called “child support” so-called “obligation” by even one penny.)
Being told by Family (dis)-Services themselves that they don’t care if your children cannot go to school if they suspend your driver’s license.
Being told by Family (dis)-Services themselves that they don’t care if your children’s mother now has a live-in, violent felon boyfriend, because all they want is their money. Yes! They actually said this!
Being imprisoned without actually committing a crime in case after case after case after case.
Being homeless and sleeping in a truck (in spite of having full-time work) in the middle of the winter at below-freezing temperatures. At least, in my own case, it was seven of the warmer months of the year. The man I am referring to now was doing it in January!
So, when people want to debate, when they want to argue, don’t! Just give them your testimony.
Don’t take the bait to debate! Just give them your testimony. The only way they can fight your testimony is to accuse you of lying and that just makes THEM look bad.
So, remember, keep discussions about you and your children’s rights and your testimonies, and you can’t lose.
Ultimately, it will be the sheer weight of our combined testimonies as a persecuted underclass that will finally topple the Berlin Wall of Family Legal Abuse that has been erected by the courts between us and our children, between us and our life’s earnings.
I will traveling to Jefferson City, Missouri this summer to visit with state legislators and those august individuals need to see YOUR testimonies by the thousands! By the tens of thousands! They need to be buried in dump trucks of them! If you have even a little time, send your testimony to firstname.lastname@example.org.
You’re doing all of us and your children a favor when you do.
We have a problem in the arena of divorce and custody. We have a system that is not impartial and often serves as a breeding ground for disingenuous and unethical actions committed by players in the legal arena and sometimes (knowingly and unknowingly) enabled by the very courts people believe will determine fact from fiction. Many Father’s have an uphill challenge awaiting them as they seek what many others before the law and courts seek…fairness and the right to be heard.
Over two years has passed since my daughter, who was 6 years old at the time, was snatched one day from her home by her mother (my Ex) and then sequestered at my Ex in-laws where I was prevented from seeing her. The night I came home from work in June 2012 expecting to kiss my kid goodnight she was gone and in her place a mountain of outrageous and disingenuous court filings attacking me as a parent, a father and threatening to take my daughter away.
Having a legal background, my trained eye saw the filings for what they were…old school intimidation tactics from a bulldog attorney looking to profit off of conflict by taking advantage of his own client and myself at a vulnerable time. My emotional side viewed these methods, and the authorization and blessing my Ex gave to give them life, with a sense of betrayal and shock. At no time did these intentionally malicious tactics intimidate or bully me as was the purpose of their design.
Over the years with this ordeal, the opposing party went through the laundry list of stunts and questionable litigation tactics using a child as a pawn for greedy motives and malicious intent. These actions only served to strengthen my resolve to stand up to the fiction and posturing. Often I would call out the dirty tricks directly and even alerted the Judge of a particular incident of perjury in direct correspondence to chambers….but I learned the courts in divorce and custody look the other way in instances of perjury and that the often used legal jargon cited in affidavits, depositions, declarations and testimony with language stating things like “under penalty of perjury” are proven to be empty, powerless and without weight.
During my own ordeal, I had the unique experience, where I both had attorney representation and represented myself as a pro se litigant when the funds ran out and debts increased.
My exposure in law and politics gave me faith that the judicial system wouldn’t ultimately reward dishonesty and unethical practice…I was soon to realize the sad truth in how wrong my belief was but still managed to obtain joint legal custody and almost 50% physical custody of my daughter. Nothing in this ordeal has been easy and it has exposed a lazy court system unwilling to review evidence and shed light on a corrupted matrimonial bar where both entities punish and criminalize many men for being good fathers who seek fairness and equal time in the live of their children.
The court is a breeding ground where a good ole boy network thrives and profits at the expense of parents becoming adversaries and children being hurt. Many of these ordeals are orchestrated events, I know because I often documented my predictions and time stamped them prior to court hearings and meetings with all parties where I accurately predicted what would happen and how things would transpire….I was pretty much on target most times.
My observations and chronicling of my own experience enabled me to document and capture the narrative to this ordeal in a manner like few are qualified to do while enduring it. My situation involves factual evidence in multiple streams validating what transpired with the lawyers, the opposing party and the court in this ordeal. Unlike so many fathers I have read about and spoken too….I am not intimidated by lawyers or Judges.
For over two years I had to keep quiet on so much of what went on, while documenting and cataloging everything. The broader concern I have in going through this is that not many fathers (and mothers many times as well) have the tenacity or persistence to keep going for many reasons and speak out on this issue and what goes on with people. That’s what opposing adversarial attorneys and some judges count on…fatigue and that most people will give up and submit to unfavorable outcomes.
These folks can lie to the court, file false allegations and commit unethical actions because the person on the receiving end, more times than not, is playing it clean and being the more truthful party. That is where your character sustains so much damage with deceitful motion practice played out against you for purpose of leverage tactics, threats of contempt, and protective orders all filed at you based on disingenuous substance and falsehoods. This is designed to try and assassinate your character and leave a bad first impression of you on some judges all while putting you in a place where it seems impossible and overly complicated to counter the damage done.
It is “overwhelming” especially when dealing with the challenges and turmoil of major life changes, but that’s how they get away with it all… People often get to this point where countering it all seems hopeless and that’s when the other side comes in with a settlement that rewards the side who is often unethical, better financed and aggressive while the other party learns honesty doesn’t pay and just wants their life back and to escape a system that criminalized them for being truthful and sincere.
As the receiving end party you aren’t supposed to make it 10 rounds or “challenge the system”, so that all the lies, hearsay narrative and disingenuous filings against you get washed away at a settlement and never see the light of day under “impartial” judicial scrutiny that would expose the situation for what it is….a work of fiction and bully tactics.
Many opposing lawyers and several Judges don’t expect many fathers to go the distance and the longer you are persistent the more adversarial and aggressive they become. On top of that it’s not lost on these people that litigation is costly and the emotional stress wears people down where they don’t want to deal with the system anymore or the constant passive aggressive threats resulting in anxiety. So those people give up and stay quiet and deal with an outcome less then just or equitable and adverse to their child’s best interest while the court moves through their busy docket and the unethical lawyers go to the next client after milking as much as they can from the parties and a similar merry go round plays out for the next dad.
The amazing thing with these lawyers in the matrimonial bar that no one talks about much is how some decide how far to take a case. Once they have the net worth statements they know how much money their clients have and eventually how much the other side has and in litigation there are ways to manipulate things so the lawyers can bill you out of a lot of money before a case ends at a certain point. There are patterns to watch for. The initial protective orders, the letter writing campaigns between lawyers (easy billable time for them) and all the needless motion filings and hearings (with hours waiting in the court), depositions and preparation time for all these things. Cases have stages and if the money is there some lawyers will make sure things progress to a certain point, damn the adverse affects these greedy motives have on the lives of the client and other parent.
My own situation was made much more frustrating because I was very aware of what tactics were playing out, how the other side was being manipulated by their own attorney and every time and instance where the opposition broke rules of professional conduct, was out of bounds during the depositions and what procedures and rules they were manipulating. The best analogy I can give for the two years in general…it was like I was awake and could see and hear what was going on around me and yet I couldn’t do anything to stop it regardless of my truthful and strongly supported filings, strong evidence meeting the burden of proof and being very upfront and honest even when it didn’t always make me look good in every situation.
In family court I was represented by an attorney and managed to get through okay but then was left in large debt and not much left for the next round of court. I then took over my case as a pro se litigant as I knew my skills with discovery and evidence would be stronger at that point then any attorney. At this stage things got very different and a bit concerning when interacting with the court and opposing counsel, it was clear self-representation was frowned upon even when I followed all the rules better then the opposition. In the Family Court we had a Judge who I felt clearly reviewed what was in front of her and did her very best to resolve issues fairly even if I didn’t fully agree with some of them.
When we left Family Court, the next round was in Supreme Court and with that a very different Judge and far different dynamic and set of external variables. At that juncture is when I did all my own corresponding with the court and opposing counsel, drafted all my own motions, responses and affidavits and prepared to both be deposed by opposing counsel during the first half of one day, then I turned around and deposed my Ex for the second half of the day….it was at this specific juncture when I did very well to prove my points, catch tons of inconsistencies and outright lies that, that very same day once the depositions concluded things would become more unethical and aggressive on their part….that was the price I paid for doing well at that stage and showing up an attorney who had decades of experience and underestimated my abilities to uncover the truth.
Eventually this all resulted in a bizarre circumstance where I was directly and indirectly threatened to agree to a resolution to things on the day we arrived at court for our trial.
What happened that day, and in swearing to the Judge that I was entering an agreement “not under threat”….well that was not entirely accurate….and as I learned the hard way, in courts dealing with divorce and custody the truth is never sought with much effort and is often a problem for the players in the industry. —
Are Laws Really Needed to Guide us in Raising Our Family?
When you Defend your Family, why is it so important to know the Statutes for Your State, particular to your concerns?
We must become an Advocate, and yes, admit to ourselves there is indeed conflict, corruption, biases, etc in our government. And then most importantly say OK, and ask ourselves, in knowing this>> “What are We going to do about it to Protect Our Families??
in an effort to present ALL the story of Conflict in Our Constitutional Rights:
This is indeed some good reference material for supporting the principle of “Due Process” in our Family Court system. A principle not currently in place in our Family Court.
I hope those supporting the Parental Rights US Constitutional Amendment have used this as a Reference.
Of course, then there is CAPTA. Sarcastically, I always add “New and Improved”
So many conflicts that challenge our Rights as Parents for Our Children.
“Sometimes it just takes one small voice to make a world of difference…
I challenge you to be one of those voices”
*Note: PARENTING AS A PROTECTED CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT was authored by a civil rights attorney, as an argument in a case for a parent’s rights. Currently it should not be using this argument at all (it is not a formal document, or is it a published article, just a part of someone’s case). It is to show what a civil rights attorney wrote about parental rights, which is not one of our amendments, or BILL OF RIGHTS, as parental rights are implied in the 17th amendment. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ May you find Strength in Your Higher Power, GranPa Chuck
Award-Winning and Prize-Winning Author of Access Denied, The Wretched, The Roots of Evil, The Ghost of Clothes, Omonolidee, First Words and Unzipped: The Mind of a Madman, The Deeper Roots of Evil, along with numerous short stories, poems and articles.